An elderly woman walked into the bar on a cruise ship and politely ordered a Scotch—“with just two drops of water.”

When the bartender set the glass down, she smiled and said:
“I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday… and today is the day.”

The bartender grinned. “Well then, happy birthday! This one’s on the house.”

After she finished, the woman beside her leaned over. “I’d love to buy you your next drink.”
The lady nodded. “Bartender, another Scotch with two drops of water.”

A short while later, a man on her other side offered the same. Again, she ordered Scotch with two drops of water.

Finally, curiosity got the better of the bartender. “Ma’am, if you don’t mind me asking… why only two drops of water?”

The old woman giggled. “Son, at my age, I know how to handle my liquor. Water, however, is a completely different challenge.”

Story Two: The Bank Withdrawal

Another elderly woman walked into a bank one morning and handed her card to the teller.
“I’d like to withdraw $500, please.”

The teller replied coldly: “For withdrawals under $5,000, please use the ATM.”

The woman asked calmly: “May I ask why?”
The teller, irritated, said: “Those are the rules. Please step aside if you have no other business.”

Without a word, the woman took back her card, then handed it over again.
“Alright then. I’d like to withdraw all the money in my account.”