I used to think my life would be loud. I pictured hallways cluttered with toys, and imagined sticky hands tugging at my skirt while a small, high-pitched voice called me “Mom.”
That was the dream I carried for years when Karl and I were first married.
Then a doctor told us, “I’m sorry, but it’s very unlikely that you’ll be able to conceive naturally.”
I felt the oxygen leave the room. I turned to Karl, reaching for his hand, but he didn’t move.
On the drive home, Karl turned up the radio while I cried.
I used to think my life would be loud.
The shelter started with one dog.
I found her near the highway, a skinny brown mutt with mange. I didn’t think; I just took off my cardigan, wrapped her in it, and lifted her into my car.
When I got home, Karl looked at the bundle in my arms like I was carrying a bucket of toxic waste.
“What is that?”
“She’s sick, and I’m going to help her.”
“We are not turning this house into a kennel, Simona.” He scowled at the dog.
The shelter started with one dog.
“She’ll stay in the garage,” I insisted. “Just until she’s better.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Simona, this isn’t healthy.”
“What isn’t healthy? Helping something that’s hurting?”
“This.” He pointed a finger at the dog and then at me. “You can’t replace a child with strays. It’s a bit pathetic, don’t you think?”
“I’m not replacing anything,” I said.
But as I looked down at that little dog, I wondered if he was right.
“Simona, this isn’t healthy.”
Maybe I was trying to fill a hole shaped like a person with things that barked and shed. Does it matter, though?
One dog became three. Three became ten.
Soon, the garage wasn’t enough, and neither was my spirit.
I had a small inheritance from my grandmother. I used it to buy a run-down piece of land at the edge of town. It had an old, rusted storage building and a wide yard.
Karl signed the closing papers without even glancing at the text. “As long as it doesn’t cost me anything.”
One dog became three.
“It won’t,” I promised. “It’s my money.”
“Good. Have fun playing veterinarian. Just don’t expect me to clap.”
I did more than play.
I painted every wall myself. I learned how to install industrial-grade kennels and give injections. Slowly, volunteers started to show up — mostly retired women with big hearts and high school kids needing service hours.
