A woman walks into a police station and tells the officer, “I think my husband is having an affair!”

The officer asks, “How do you know?”

“Well,” she says, “He keeps calling this woman ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart,’ and he even calls her ‘my love.’”

The officer sighs and says, “Ma’am, that’s just how people talk on the phone.”

The woman says, “But he doesn’t even know her phone number!”

The officer looks confused. “He doesn’t know her number? How does he call her?”

The woman rolls her eyes and says, “He calls her from the toilet!”

The officer bursts out laughing. “Ma’am, you’re hilarious! What makes you think he’s talking to someone else?”

The woman says, “Because he’s always yelling, ‘Hold on a second, I’m going to get a roll of toilet paper!’”