At my husband\u2019s 40th birthday party, my 4-year-old pointed at my best friend and said, \u201cDad\u2019s there.\u201d I thought he was being silly \u2014 until I followed his finger and saw something on her body. My son had just exposed something I was never supposed to find.<\/p>\n
Hosting my husband\u2019s 40th birthday party in our backyard seemed like a great idea, until I was surrounded by loud music, loud guests, and what seemed like a whole kindergarten class.<\/p>\n
And in the middle of all of it was Brad.<\/p>\n
Forty looked unfairly good on him.<\/p>\n
I was standing near the patio door with a stack of napkins in one hand and my phone in the other, but even after years of marriage, I sometimes still caught myself just looking at him, thinking how lucky I was.<\/p>\n
I was so naive.<\/p>\n
But I couldn\u2019t pause for long.<\/p>\n
Someone asked whether the veggie tray dip contained dairy. One of the kids began crying over a toy truck.<\/p>\n
A small blur shot past my legs, and I looked down just in time to see my four-year-old son sprinting under the nearest table with a cake pop in his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wasn\u2019t!\u201d he yelled back, which usually meant he either had or was just about to.<\/p>\n
I looked at Brad again. He was smiling at something Ellie had said.<\/p>\n
She and I had known each other since second grade. She was family in every way except blood.<\/p>\n
Then someone said my name again.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, where should I put the drinks?\u201d<\/p>\n
I turned.<\/p>\n
\u201cOn the side table. No, the other one. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
I moved through the party feeling proud of myself for throwing this all together and keeping it mostly under control, while also vowing that I\u2019d never host something this big again.<\/p>\n
At one point, Ellie slipped in beside me.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re doing too much,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n
I let out a laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cI always do. You know that.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled. \u201cI could\u2019ve helped more before people got here.\u201d<\/p>\n
For half a second, I let myself feel grateful she was there.<\/p>\n
Then Will shrieked from somewhere under the tables.<\/p>\n
A little later, I spotted him crawling out from beneath a tablecloth with two other kids.<\/p>\n
He looked like he\u2019d been raised outside by cheerful raccoons \u2014 His knees were grass-stained, and his hands were filthy.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh my God,\u201d I said, catching him by the wrist. \u201cCome here.\u201d<\/p>\n
He twisted, laughing. \u201cMommy, no.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I\u2019m playing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can play after.<\/p>\n
Come on.\u201d<\/p>\n
I led him into the house. I set him on a chair by the kitchen sink, turned on the faucet, and started scrubbing his hands.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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