A salesman sells his wares door to door in a huge high-rise building. He knocks on a young man\u2019s door and asks him: \u201cWould you like to buy the latest toothbrush? Only ten dollars.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTen dollars for a toothbrush!\u201d shouts the man.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat idiot would pay ten dollars for a toothbrush? You\u2019re out of your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell then,\u201d the salesman continues, \u201chow about a freshly baked brownie for a dollar?\u201d The man thinks and says, \u201cOkay, why not?\u201d<\/p>\n
The salesman hands him the brownie. The man takes a bite and spits it out on the floor of the aisle.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod, it tastes like shit!\u201d he exclaims. \u2026<\/p>\n
.. \u201cThat\u2019s because it tastes like shit,\u201d the salesman explains.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd would you be interested in a toothbrush?\u201d<\/p>\n
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said, \u201cSo, what did you bring?\u201d<\/p>\n
The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could.<\/p>\n
He wanted to become the \u201cGrandma Moses of Jail.\u201d Then he asked the first, \u201cWhat did you bring?\u201d<\/p>\n
The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, \u201cI brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games.\u201d<\/p>\n
The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, \u201cWhy are you so smug?<\/p>\n
What did you bring?\u201d<\/p>\n
The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, \u201cI brought these.\u201d<\/p>\n
The other two were puzzled and asked, \u201cWhat can you do with those?\u201d<\/p>\n
He grinned and pointed to the box and said, \u201cWell, according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, \u201cNumber twelve!\u201d The whole cell block breaks out laughing.<\/p>\n
A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, \u201cNumber four!\u201d Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing. The new guy asks his cellmate what\u2019s going on. \u201cWell,\u201d says the older prisoner, \u201cwe\u2019ve all been in this prison for so long.<\/p>\n
We all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke.\u201d<\/p>\n
So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, \u201cNumber twenty-nine!\u201d This time the whole cell block rocks with the loudest laughter, prisoners rolling on the floor laughing hysterically. When the guffaws die down, the bewildered new guy turns to the older prisoner and asks, \u201cHow come you guys were laughing so hard this time?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh,\u201d says the older man wiping tears from his eyes, \u201cwe\u2019d never heard that one before.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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