I believed him when he said I smelled bad.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s the part that still makes my chest tighten when I think about it.<\/p>\n
It started small\u2014offhand comments, little wrinkles of his nose, a casual, \u201cDid you shower today?\u201d said with a laugh that never quite reached his eyes. At first, I brushed it off. Everyone gets insecure sometimes. Couples tease each other. I told myself I was being sensitive.<\/p>\n
But then it kept happening.<\/p>\n
I started showering twice a day. Sometimes three if I\u2019d been out. I kept deodorant in my purse, my car, my desk drawer. I brushed my teeth five times a day until my gums ached. I changed soaps, laundry detergent, fabric softener, toothpaste. I Googled symptoms at night, convinced something was wrong with my body that doctors had somehow missed.<\/p>\n
No matter what I did, the look on his face never changed. <\/p>\n
He pulled away when I reached for him. Stopped kissing me goodnight. Started working late even when I knew his workload was light. And every time I tried to talk about it, he\u2019d sigh and say, \u201cI don\u2019t want to hurt your feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n
So I kept trying harder.<\/p>\n
Then one afternoon, everything snapped into focus.<\/p>\n
I was folding laundry when I heard his voice from the kitchen. Low. Nervous. I paused in the hallway, basket heavy in my arms, not meaning to eavesdrop\u2014until I heard my name.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t keep doing this much longer,\u201d he whispered. \u201cShe\u2019s not picking up on the hints.\u201d<\/p>\n
My heart started pounding.<\/p>\n
At first, I assumed he meant my hygiene. I stood there, frozen, clutching that stupid basket like it could ground me.
\nThen he kept talking.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve tried everything,\u201d he said. \u201cThe smell thing. Pulling away. Not being around much. I don\u2019t want to hurt her. I just want out.\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt numb, like the air had been sucked out of the house. My ears rang as the truth hit me with a clarity so sharp it almost hurt.<\/p>\n
There was nothing wrong with me.<\/p>\n
There never had been.<\/p>\n
He was trying to make me feel like there was.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I believed him when he said I smelled bad. That\u2019s the part that still makes my chest tighten when I think about it. It started small\u2014offhand comments,… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":32460,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32459","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=32459"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32459\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32461,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32459\/revisions\/32461"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/32460"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=32459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=32459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyglow.fun\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=32459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}