As life draws to a close, most people find themselves looking back, not at what they did, but at what they didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
During a recent commencement speech at the University of Pennsylvania, oncologist and author Dr. Siddhartha Mukherjee noted that many people spend their final moments expressing love, asking for forgiveness, and offering gratitude. But they also carry regrets, some quietly, some aloud.<\/p>\n
Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care nurse and author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, spent eight years caring for terminally ill patients. In that time, she listened closely to what people wished they\u2019d done differently. \u201cThere were big lessons in the things they said,\u201d she shared in an interview with The Chris Evans Breakfast Show, via CNBC.<\/p>\n
Here are the five regrets Ware heard most often:<\/p>\n
I wish I\u2019d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
\nI wish I hadn\u2019t worked so hard.
\nI wish I\u2019d had the courage to express my feelings.
\nI wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
\nI wish I had let myself be happier.
\nThe first one (failing to live authentically) came up the most. \u201cWhen people realize their life is almost over, it becomes painfully clear how many dreams they left unrealized,\u201d Ware wrote in a blog post. \u201cMost had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing it was due to choices they made, or didn\u2019t make.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sometimes those choices are shaped by external pressure: the degree your parents wanted, the job you took for stability, or the life path that felt more \u201cacceptable\u201d than joyful. Ware urges people to consider their own desires early, and often, before they end up sidelining them entirely.<\/p>\n
One of the most common regrets, overworking, continues to be a reality for many. A 2023 Harris Poll found that 78% of American workers are still leaving vacation days unused, often burning themselves out in pursuit of professional success.<\/p>\n
But overwork often comes at the cost of connection. Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates admitted this during a 2023 commencement address at Northern Arizona University. \u201cWhen I was your age, I didn\u2019t believe in weekends. Or vacations. Or time off for anyone, really,\u201d Gates said. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t until I became a father that I realized: there\u2019s more to life than work.\u201d<\/p>\n
His advice? \u201cDon\u2019t wait as long as I did to learn that lesson. Take time to nurture your relationships. Celebrate your wins. Recover from your losses. And let the people around you do the same.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ware echoes that message. The people who felt most at peace at the end of their lives had prioritized joy, love, and personal authenticity. They hadn\u2019t waited to be \u201cless busy\u201d or \u201cmore ready.\u201d They had chosen happiness, deliberately.<\/p>\n
\u201cMany didn\u2019t realize until the end that happiness is a choice,\u201d Ware wrote. \u201cThey stayed stuck in habits, in the \u2018comfort\u2019 of the familiar, even as something inside them longed to laugh again, to be silly, to feel free.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her final takeaway? \u201cLife is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously. Choose wisely. Choose honestly. Choose happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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